by Adam
I am pleased to introduce Lydia’s post and her inaugural appearance on the blog. I was lucky enough to have the chance to talk through this post with her: her experience, her ideas, and the way she translated both into writing. I appreciate her contribution to the blog for two reasons in particular. One, because it portrays a highly relatable set of circumstances which many, many others have no doubt experienced (although, often not verbalized, much less written about!). Second, and perhaps not unrelated to the first point, Lydia’s writing is very authentic. I’m sure you’ll agree, and I hope you derive some value from this post!
Now, who is this “Lydia” person, anyway? Well, Lydia graduated from Oklahoma Christian University in 2018. Since then, she’s become a CPA and is working as a senior auditor for BKD in Oklahoma City.
by Lydia Harlow
Like many, I struggled with the transition that occurred after attending four years at a university and shifting into the “real world,” as people tend to say. For me, this transition came with the stereotypical responsibilities associated with becoming an adult, such as paying bills, beginning a new full-time job, and other generic characteristics and events that people generally associate with growing up. There were several characteristics of this change that were less tangible as well. I found myself struggling more than I believe the average young adult tends to struggle. It took time to gain a foothold on my new lifestyle, and I faced some unseen challenges that proved difficult to overcome. I’ll share my experience here, in hopes that someone reading this can relate to, and learn from, my story. I hope to be able to give some advice to those of you who are going through, or will soon be going through, this same transition.
I truly enjoyed my college experience. I know a lot of people tend to have a positive association with this time in their life, but I would dare to say that I appreciated those four years more than most. I was blessed enough to attend a school that I loved, a place that upheld values I hold in my personal life. College also gave me some of my closest friends that I plan to maintain a long-term relationship with. I had professors who helped me not only succeed as a student, but who truly wanted me to succeed in my personal life and spiritual relationship as well. I was able to get plugged in quickly with a college ministry that I loved, to be heavily involved with the social service club I chose to join, and participate in a multitude of other activities and leadership opportunities that made those years pivotal to my growth. Those four years were fundamental in developing me into who I am today, and it was the opportunities I was given and the people that I encountered that made it so.
Coming from the emotionally positive backdrop of my college years, my transition into the subsequent stage of my life proved challenging. I had associated so much of my personal growth with the place that I had cherished for the last several years. I had no idea what truly was to come as I opened the door (or more accurately, as I was pushed through the door), to my new beginning. Uncertainty, a full-time job, and departure from people I loved loomed in my path as I closed one door and peered through another. I was lost. I had known my place for the last four years; I knew where I fit. Suddenly, I was placed in a completely foreign situation with no identification of where my “place” was. Before this change, I knew what I needed to do to succeed. In class, I knew what was expected of me as a student and as a leader in various circumstances. Now, I was entering a situation where answers came less easily, and where my lack of experience made navigation more challenging. The future was unknown. At the beginning of this transition I struggled to gain a foothold, much less find ways to begin to thrive.
Fast forward to today. While I wish I could tell you that suddenly it clicked--that I woke up one day knowing exactly how to succeed in my new normal--that was not the case. There was a lot of trial and error, a lot of self-reflection, and a boatload of learning to admit that it was okay to not have my life completely together. However, over the last few years I have identified a few key areas that helped me gain a foothold and allowed me to begin to cultivate my growth as a professional, as well as aid in my continued evolution as an individual.
First and most foremost, I learned to reassess my situation and stop comparing myself to others. Everyone’s journey is different, and yours certainly will not look the same as your coworker or your best friend. You will face your own challenges and struggles as you navigate this transition and other pivotal changes. Instead of looking at how I stacked up to my peers, I learned to celebrate my own personal victories and learn from my failures (and trust me, I’ve had plenty).
Second, and equally as important, I began to understand that I had power over my mindset. I could choose to have a positive attitude, I could choose to do my best today. Realizing that I had power over not only my future, but also current situations, was a game-changer. While planning for the future is a good thing, and something that you should certainly do to an extent, the steps that you take each day and the attitude you choose are a factor in what will transpire. You may not view each individual day as a success, but realizing that you truly do have power over aspects in your day-to-day life is a key factor in navigating the unknown.
The third aspect that assisted me in my transition was to surround myself with a supportive network of trusted mentors and peers that helped me navigate uncertain times. I’ve learned that it’s important to have a variety of individuals that I trust that balance both advice and guidance as well as allowing me to tread my own path. Realizing that I did not have to navigate the transition alone was pivotal in my growth and continues to be an important factor in my personal and professional life today.
I’ll be the first to admit that certain days are still difficult – sometimes I don’t make a conscious effort in establishing a constructive mindset, and some days it’s hard to see how a trying day can turn into a stepping stone in my long-term goals. However, through giving myself grace and doing my best to apply the factors described above, I’ve learned to fall into a rhythm and embrace the lifestyle that I now call normal. I hope that as you’re entering a similar transitional phase you can take something away from my experience, and see that there is beauty in the unknown and unlimited potential to develop yourself through a multitude of avenues and opportunities.