by Adam
Today, I want to talk about Reputation. It won’t be the first time: in fact, we covered this in one of our core posts on the mentoring program.
If you read that post (and, I recommend you do!), you’ll have heard a lot about what a reputation is. Here’s Kevin’s take on his own reputation:
“Currently, I am building a reputation as a CFO mentor, in addition to other characteristics that I am consistently living, such as encourager, faithful, teacher, positive attitude and humor. By continually focusing on these traits and roles, I am continuing to build my reputation in my community.”
-Kevin from our post on Reputation
Reading that post will get you a long way toward understanding how to build a reputation. And, indeed, it even spends some times ruminating on the precariousness of only having indirect control over your reputation.
But, I want to dive deeper on that topic. And, to do so, I want to pick back up with Jim’s ongoing journey in Episode 7, Season 9 (“The Whale”). In the quote below, we find Jim struggling to hold a productive work call in the presence of some highly distracting background noise.
[Jim paces around the parking lot on his cell phone]
Jim: “What I was saying is the genius of Air Jordan was not in the market saturation it was, uh…”
[metal chop saw screeches from across the street]
Business Partner: “It was what?”
Jim: “Sorry, um…”
Business Partner: “Jim we’re having a lot of trouble hearing you”
Jim: “The..the...what I was saying is the real genius, was in the….”
[Jim leans against a car, setting off the car alarm]
Security guard: [yelling to Jim] “Hey, are those skateboarders back?
Business Partner: “Jim? Jim are you there?”
Jim: “It was in the authentic design, right? It really felt like Michael Jordan was wearing these shoes for..”
Meredith: “Jim, who was messing with my van?”
Jim: “Nobody!”
Business Partner: “Jordan wore them for nobody? Not following you Halpert…”
Later that day, we see the aftermath, as Jim answers a follow-up call from his business partner.
Jim:“Jim Halpert”
Business Partner: “Hey, It’s Collin”
Jim: “Hey man, I am so sorry about that”
Business Partner: “Hey, no, don’t worry about it. It’s just, it's not totally working”
Jim: “Yeah, no, I know, this whole telecommuting thing is not ideal, but don’t worry I’ll figure it out.”
Business Partner: “Yeah, well, it’s not just not ideal. With you there, I don’t know how we’re going to do this”
Jim: “Uh, what does that mean”
The scene ends, and we’re left to wonder exactly what it means. But, we’re left with a clear impression: Jim has damaged his reputation with his business partner.
If your reaction is anything like mine, you’re probably feeling sorry for Jim. He’s in a tough situation. He faces a lot of obstacles to realizing his dream of being a founding member of this new business. We know his intentions are good; he really seems to be doing his best here.
But, those good intentions are not enough to dull the impact his accidental transgressions have on his reputation with his new business partner. That’s frustrating! That doesn’t feel like the way it should be. But, it's the way it is.
If you’ve been working in a professional capacity for years and years, you’re probably less likely to think that analysis is very profound. Of course Jim is going to be initially judged on his output, not his intentions. That’s not only because intentions are difficult to ascertain, but because intentions alone just don’t get the job done.
But, if you’re newer to the professional workforce (or rapidly approaching graduation), I’m guessing you’re having a subtly different reaction. Maybe you grudgingly accept what I said as true, but you certainly don’t think it's fair. I know a younger version of me would have felt that way.
And, here’s the thing: I’m not going to try to convince you that it’s fair. But, I do think it's important you be convinced that, in terms of building a professional reputation, what seems fair is hopelessly irrelevant.
Before we go there though, I think it’s important to unbundle two things. While professional and personal reputation and character can be (and often are) intertwined, they are not the same thing. As we will touch on in later posts, you’ll often face tough tradeoffs in your life pitting the personal against the professional, and there aren’t always easy answers.
But, it’s the distinction between those two spheres of life that’s important. While we can sympathize with Jim on a personal level, we have to understand from a professional level that his shortcomings here are, indeed, fair game for his business partner to take issue with. That doesn’t have to diminish our personal empathy for Jim. But, it does need to be the groundwork from which we understand how to build a professional reputation.
Now, this is not to say that professional reputation deserves primacy 100% of the time. While Character reflects morals, and should form the “non-negotiable” principles by which we operate, reputation includes elements like “work ethic,” which can often be in a zero-sum conflict with things like a healthy relationship with your spouse or kids. In other words: some elements of your reputation necessarily exist on a continuum.
I know, I know: I am being a big time downer. But, I have a good reason! This realization, for me, was as profound and unexpected as it was important. And, I think the genesis story for this revelation is itself instructive.
The CFO of a large public company came to my university as a guest speaker. After her talk, she was asked a question that I’d heard, in some form, many times before: “how do you balance work life with family?”
I had been conditioned to expect a certain thing to come next: she would talk about the importance of her family to her, how it takes teamwork and coordination, offer a few specific tips or tricks, and then stick the landing with a story about how she prioritized some specific Family Thing over a different Important Work Thing. The message: sure, it is a challenge, but you don’t really have to make any trade offs, you just have to decide to make it work.
Here’s my abbreviated take on what I expected her to say: the hard decisions are hard because it takes effort and creativity to find the perfect answer.
But, that is not what she said.
She said, without any hint of apology or shame, that sometimes you have to make tough decisions in your life. That she loves her family, and loves her kids. That you can certainly be both a good parent, a good spouse, and a successful professional. But, you have to understand: there are going to be tradeoffs. You can’t just have your cake and eat it too. It starts with understanding your values, then identifying your goals, and then making the decisions that you can live with.
My take on what she actually said: the hard decisions are hard because there is no perfect answer.
That was a sobering moment for me. I’m guessing it was also a sobering moment for the aspiring future-professional who asked the question. But, we both needed to hear it.
And, therein lies what a professional reputation is not. A professional reputation is not based solely on your intentions, is not crafted according to what is fair, and is not limited by rules of what colleagues are allowed to think. Importantly, it is not something that can always be maximized without tradeoffs.
Now, I’m not saying: “If you want to be professionally successful, get ready to have a horrible family life”
I’m also not saying: “If you want to be a good spouse or parent, go ahead and give up on your aspirations to be an executive some day”
I’m saying: No matter what path you choose, you’re going to have to make tough decisions. Sometimes, with some effort and creativity, you’ll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Many times, you won’t.
In fact, those inevitable hard decisions are precisely what make our Mentoring Framework most valuable. When you’re staring down the barrel of a decision that puts two things that you want in direct conflict--that’s when you need a map. That’s when you need a reliable system by which to adjudicate your competing interests, and help you determine your path with confidence. That’s when you need Goals. And when those Goals are in conflict, that’s when you need a Mission Statement. And, when the problem is too fickle even for your Mission Statement to shed clarifying light on, that’s when you need a Board of Advisors to offer you perspective, wisdom, and advice.
No, the Mentoring Program Kevin has put together won’t answer every question life can throw at you. And, it doesn’t mean you won’t make some poor decisions from time to time. But, it puts some tools in your toolbox to be able to confront these difficult questions when they arise.
And, trust me, they will arise!
Confronting that reality may seem like a bummer. And, you may feel like this post runs contrary to our stance on optimism.
Rest assured. It doesn’t! With this knowledge, you are still free (and encouraged!) to dream big, and aspire to have a fantastic, multidimensional life. In fact, this knowledge only makes those dreams more attainable. Because when you face obstacles, when competing elements of your dreams seem in irreconcilable conflict, you won’t be crestfallen. You won’t be shocked. You won’t feel like you’ve been sold a bill of goods.
Instead, you’ll know it’s normal. You’ll realize that this is one of those "tradeoffs" you were warned about. And, you’ll use the tools at your disposal to press forward with confidence, conviction, and (hopefully) a renewed sense of optimism for what else may lie ahead.