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Author: Mentoring Your Mission

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by Adam

I am pleased to introduce Lydia’s post and her inaugural appearance on the blog. I was lucky enough to have the chance to talk through this post with her: her experience, her ideas, and the way she translated both into writing. I appreciate her contribution to the blog for two reasons in particular. One, because it portrays a highly relatable set of circumstances which many, many others have no doubt experienced (although, often not verbalized, much less written about!). Second, and perhaps not unrelated to the first point, Lydia’s writing is very authentic. I’m sure you’ll agree, and I hope you derive some value from this post!


Now, who is this “Lydia” person, anyway? Well, Lydia graduated from Oklahoma Christian University in 2018. Since then, she’s become a CPA and is working as a senior auditor for BKD in Oklahoma City.

by Lydia Harlow

Like many, I struggled with the transition that occurred after attending four years at a university and shifting into the “real world,” as people tend to say. For me, this transition came with the stereotypical responsibilities associated with becoming an adult, such as paying bills, beginning a new full-time job, and other generic characteristics and events that people generally associate with growing up. There were several characteristics of this change that were less tangible as well.  I found myself struggling more than I believe the average young adult tends to struggle. It took time to gain a foothold on my new lifestyle, and I faced some unseen challenges that proved difficult to overcome. I’ll share my experience here, in hopes that someone reading this can relate to, and learn from, my story. I hope to be able to give some advice to those of you who are going through, or will soon be going through, this same transition.

I truly enjoyed my college experience. I know a lot of people tend to have a positive association with this time in their life, but I would dare to say that I appreciated those four years more than most. I was blessed enough to attend a school that I loved, a place that upheld values I hold in  my personal life.  College also gave me some of my closest friends that I plan to maintain a long-term relationship with. I had professors who helped me not only succeed as a student, but who truly wanted me to succeed in my personal life and spiritual relationship as well. I was able to get plugged in quickly with a college ministry that I loved, to be heavily involved with the social service club I chose to join, and participate in a multitude of other activities and leadership opportunities that made those years pivotal to my growth. Those four years were fundamental in developing me into who I am today, and it was the opportunities I was given and the people that I encountered that made it so.

Coming from the emotionally positive backdrop of my college years, my transition into the subsequent stage of my life proved challenging. I had associated so much of my personal growth with the place that I had cherished for the last several years. I had no idea what truly was to come as I opened the door (or more accurately, as I was pushed through the door), to my new beginning. Uncertainty, a full-time job, and departure from people I loved loomed in my path as I closed one door and peered through another. I was lost. I had known my place for the last four years; I knew where I fit. Suddenly, I was placed in a completely foreign situation with no identification of where my “place” was. Before this change, I knew what I needed to do to succeed. In class, I knew what was expected of me as a student and as a leader in various circumstances. Now, I was entering a situation where answers came less easily, and where my lack of experience made navigation more challenging. The future was unknown. At the beginning of this transition I struggled to gain a foothold, much less find ways to begin to thrive.

Fast forward to today. While I wish I could tell you that suddenly it clicked--that I woke up one day knowing exactly how to succeed in my new normal--that was not the case. There was a lot of trial and error, a lot of self-reflection, and a boatload of learning to admit that it was okay to not have my life completely together. However, over the last few years I have identified a few key areas that helped me gain a foothold and allowed me to begin to cultivate my growth as a professional, as well as aid in my continued evolution as an individual. 

First and most foremost, I learned to reassess my situation and stop comparing myself to others. Everyone’s journey is different, and yours certainly will not look the same as your coworker or your best friend. You will face your own challenges and struggles as you navigate this transition and other pivotal changes. Instead of looking at how I stacked up to my peers, I learned to celebrate my own personal victories and learn from my failures (and trust me, I’ve had plenty).

Second, and equally as important, I began to understand that I had power over my mindset. I could choose to have a positive attitude, I could choose to do my best today. Realizing that I had power over not only my future, but also current situations, was a game-changer. While planning for the future is a good thing, and something that you should certainly do to an extent, the steps that you take each day and the attitude you choose are a factor in what will transpire. You may not view each individual day as a success, but realizing that you truly do have power over aspects in your day-to-day life is a key factor in navigating the unknown.

The third aspect that assisted me in my transition was to surround myself with a supportive network of trusted mentors and peers that helped me navigate uncertain times. I’ve learned that it’s important to have a variety of individuals that I trust that balance both advice and guidance as well as allowing me to tread my own path. Realizing that I did not have to navigate the transition alone was pivotal in my growth and continues to be an important factor in my personal and professional life today.

I’ll be the first to admit that certain days are still difficult – sometimes I don’t make a conscious effort in establishing a constructive mindset, and some days it’s hard to see how a trying day can turn into a stepping stone in my long-term goals. However, through giving myself grace and doing my best to apply the factors described above, I’ve learned to fall into a rhythm and embrace the lifestyle that I now call normal. I hope that as you’re entering a similar transitional phase you can take something away from my experience, and see that there is beauty in the unknown and unlimited potential to develop yourself through a multitude of avenues and opportunities.

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This series of blog posts titled “Mentoring with Glenn” is a documentation of Kevin’s mentoring sessions with a young professional named Glenn Elmore. These mentoring meetings will utilize the topics that we are discussing in our ongoing blog: “Mentoring your Mission”.  Periodically, over the next several months, we will be providing a post covering each topic. You will certainly learn more about Glenn as the series progresses, but just for some initial background, Glenn graduated from University of Central Oklahoma (UCO) in 2017. Over the past three years he has been an Admissions Counselor (recruiter) for both UCO and OC, where he currently works. 

This post documents our first meeting to begin a discussion on “Self Awareness”, specifically his self-confidence.

by Kevin

Mentoring tips found within this post:

  • Meet in a relaxed setting (I prefer coffee shops);
  • Start with an explanation of the purpose and expectations of the mentoring relationship;
  • As you discuss each topic, explain why it is important to you, the mentor;
  • Make sure you agree on the definition of key terms;
  • Take good notes so you can provide a summary of the conversation before you finish;
  • Set up the next meeting. 

I was excited to sit down with Glenn to begin the process of “mentoring your mission”. After ordering a couple cups of coffee, I explained to Glenn that over the next 10 meetings we will be following a mentoring program to help him build a solid foundation of success, narrow the direction for his life, identify the steps to achieve it, promote his best qualities, giving back to the community, and establish himself as a continued learner.  

After the initial explanation of our mentorship, I introduced the first topic: self-awareness. I began with a quote from John Maxwell which, as I described to Glenn, captures the essence of this area. John Maxwell stated, “You have to know yourself to grow yourself”. I then explained that during this initial discussion we will assess his self-image, his awareness of key areas impacting his relationship with others, and his strengths and weaknesses. Increasing his self awareness will allow his growth to be continuously aligned with his “strength zone,” helping push him towards his maximum potential. I went on to clarify that the more he can work within his strength zone, the more his confidence will build (momentum), which I believe is a necessity for sustained and prolonged development.

We then dove in deeper to understand why I believe confidence is such an important foundation of his growth. I articulated to Glenn that I personally rely on confidence to provide the mechanism to drive myself forward in order to recognize and explore new opportunities. I then transitioned the conversation back to Glenn by asking him: how do you define  confidence? Glenn replied that he would define confidence as “believing you have the ability to do the things you need to do and doing them well.” It was helpful for me to determine that we have defined confidence in a similar manner.

I then urged Glenn to reflect on his own confidence and how he would currently measure it. Glenn thought his confidence has varied throughout his life, but naturally his confidence is lower when he is in a new position, or circumstance, he is not familiar with. For example, the transition from college to professional life had lowered his confidence. However, after two years of post-graduate employment his confidence is starting to build as he is performing at a higher level at work and has a better understanding of the expectations of him. He admitted that he is least confident when he doesn’t know what he is doing, or when instructions (or expectations) haven’t been communicated clearly to him. 

When he was a college student he assumed he would know everything that is required of him but soon realized that assumption was not accurate as he began adjusting to a forty-hour work week. This realization and adjustment negatively impacted his confidence. However, Glenn’s ability to discuss this transition with others has been helpful as it aided with this “post grad identity crisis” as he labeled it. Glenn said it has helped by having discussions with others who have recently completed this transition with similar experiences but overcame this crisis. Glenn received good advice when he was told “you shouldn’t expect to know everything”, which he found quite comforting. I concurred with that counsel.

Next, we transitioned into how Glenn sees himself in relation to high performers and how that might impact his self-confidence. Glenn admitted to a strong desire to be the “best”, so we explored what it actually means to Glenn to be the best. Glenn acknowledged that he is very competitive by nature (reverting to sports-like tendencies) and is inclined to measure himself in comparison to other people. He maintains high expectations in relation to his peers. He wants to win--realizing that historically that meant defeating opponents--but he is now starting to understand how that might be destructive in his current circumstances and relationships within the working world. Consequently, we reframed what being the best--or winning--really means. 

So, what is winning for a young professional like Glenn? We redefined winning in terms of being the best at what he, Glenn, can be, and not measured by outperforming his peers or their accomplishments. Although he shouldn’t eradicate his sense of competitive drive, he should try to redirect that drive into a competition with himself, to push himself to be better each day, primarily measured by his service to others, not defeating others. We discussed focusing less on the success of others but more on his own abilities and measuring himself to his own potential. I expounded that if we rely on other people to determine our success, the other person controls our success versus governing it ourselves. Instead we should only use other people as motivation to improve ourselves measured to our own potential.

Overall, Glenn believes that his confidence really builds momentum when he knows what is expected of him, focuses on his own strengths, and continues to discuss his experiences with others. Glenn currently assesses his confidence as relatively high as he feels like he is performing well at the tasks at hand and continues to learn new information. Glenn agrees that it is essential to be confident as he understands that a significant amount of his potential success stems from his confidence, or belief in himself.  We concluded that Glenn is performing at his best when he has the proper balance between confidence and humility, realizing he hasn’t arrived at where he wants to be but continually striving to push himself forward in alignment with his strengths. 

As we were wrapping up we set the date for our next meeting to discuss self awareness.

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by Kevin

Your competency may get you the job, but your character is how you keep it...and, more importantly, progress in it. In other words, “you are hired for competency, but fired for character”!

So, what is character? Character can be defined as the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. Not helpful? Well, maybe an exhaustive list of said qualities would do the job: integrity, honesty, loyalty, trustworthy, respectfulness, humility, compassion, fairness, forgiveness, authenticity, courage, generosity, perseverance, politeness, kindness, optimism, reliability, self-discipline, ambitious, encouraging, considerate, dependable, patience, grit, compassion, self-control, grateful, positive, proactive, hopeful, devoted, faithful, genuine...did that help?

How does your character compare to this list? Go through each quality...twice. Anything to add? Do you display these character attributes that will certainly catapult your career? If not, maybe I can offer some additional perspective. 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: friends influence and determine the quality and direction of our lives? Seems bold, but is it true? 

If you have watched one of my favorite movies, “Meet the Parents”, you may be familiar with a catchy phrase: “circle of trust”. If you are not as big of a fan as Ben Stiller as I am, perhaps this will help. Why do Jack and I think this circle is so important? Well, I believe John Maxwell is correct when he said, “you become an average of the five people you spend the most time with”. You could say that these five make up your inner circle, or...circle of trust.

As you select your circle of trust, here are six qualities of a strong friendship you should keep in mind:

  1. Enjoyment: you never dread seeing this person
  2. Acceptance: the glue that holds the relationship together; you have a desire to stay
  3. Genuine concern: they are in it for you, the other person matters more than the friendship; “you” matter more than “us”
  4. Inspiration: makes you want to be a better person and reach your goals
  5. Accountability: they are willing to correct your behaviour
  6. Character: they enforce and uphold a majority of the aforementioned list of qualities

A true friend inspires you to be a better...well...you! So, think about your friends (aka inner circle) and assess whether they are bringing you up, or lowering you down? Ask yourself: if i spent all of my time with this person, would I be motivated to achieve all of my goals? Not just the career goals, but also your relationship, spiritual, financial, and health goals? A good influencer is concerned about the whole person.

I am a strong supporter of basketball: NBA, college, high school, middle school, and even elementary (hey, my son is in 5th grade). So, I am going to put this following exercise in terms that speak to a basketball fan like me. Who is in your starting five? Who is on your dream team? Write down each of the four people (you are also on this team, don’t forget). Yes, you can also have a “sixth man (woman)”. 

Think about each person. Do they exhibit strong character? Do they build you up? Do they motivate you to achieve all of your goals? If not, perhaps it is time to make a “trade”.  As Tony Robbins said, “if you want to be a millionaire, you need to hang around millionaires”.

The closer you are to achieving high character, the more likely you are to advance in your career...and life. It takes surrounding yourself with strong, positive influences to achieve this feat. Zig Ziglar once said, “all great failures are moral failures”. Don’t be a failure, build and protect your character! 

by Adam

This one hits home!  I’ve had a lot of friends in my life.  And, I don’t mean that in a humble-brag (or maybe not so humble-brag?) way!  I just mean that, I’ve been on this earth long enough now, lived in enough places, and passed through enough phases of life, that I’ve had a few different social settings, circles of friends, and friendships that have stuck (and not).  

The breadth of that experience makes me realize something that’s hard to articulate.  My first instinct is to articulate it this way:

Throughout my life, my closest friends have not always reflected my goals.  Now, I’m not saying I hung out with money-laundering cat-burglars or anything.  I’ve just definitely, definitely, had some friendships where the focus was somewhere shy of supporting each other’s mutual betterment, as we each may define it.

But, I think that’s a cop-out.  I don’t think its true to say that those relationships weren’t aligned with my stated goals.  And, that brings me to the more accurate way to articulate what I’m trying to say: sometimes my stated goals, the things I truly aspired to, weren’t aligned with the actual goals I was pursuing.  That fact was reflected in the way I spent my time, or the relationships I chose to invest in.

The way you spend your time, and the types of relationships you form, are as much a symptom of your goal attainment as they are a cause.  

In the same way it can be easy to slip into a suboptimal daily routine, it can be easy to gravitate towards relationships that scratch the itch of a more reflexive, and often undesirable, manifestation of who you are, or who you want to be.  

Because of my love for the sport, I’m tempted to try to carry Kevin’s NBA analogy even further (who is my Defensive Player of the Year?).  But, I’m going to show some restraint, leave his analogy unsoiled by my corny rambling, and just reiterate how important this topic really is!

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by Kevin

As you might read in my recap of meeting #1, Jackson High has an ambitious plan to begin a career in investment banking. Or, as I like to articulate it, Jackson is High on Investment banking (hopefully he is successful as I am hokey)!

In addition to the full post, I thought it might be useful to summarize mentoring tips that can be found within each post to provide ideas for mentors to consider for their mentees.

Mentoring Tips found within this post:

  • Help your mentee clearly articulate his/her purpose—or goal—with a mission statement;
  • Identify mentee’s strengths and weaknesses, preferably with the use of a third party;
  • Allow your mentee to access your personal network and help him/her develop appropriate questions;
  • Gather feedback from your mentee to ensure expectations continue to be properly aligned.

My next mentoring meeting with Jackson focused on an action plan—or strategy—to delve into the world of investment banking. First, we felt that we should understand and define Jackson’s ultimate mission statement for these next few years to add clarity and purpose to this process. In addition, I wanted to identify Jackson’s strengths and weaknesses, so we could develop his weaknesses—if necessary—and promote his strengths.

In order to articulate a clear mission statement, we focused on Jackson’s roles and goals. After a series of back and forth questions about Jackson’s desires, we came up with the following mission statement to serve as our guide:

“I am a Finance student whose discipline, motivation, and collaborative mindset allows me to leverage the collective contributions of those around me into value for the organization as a whole. I aim to accomplish this by fully applying myself, by learning from those who have gone before me, and by emulating the virtues of the highest caliber of companies”.

I know I am inspired, as is Jackson!

Next we discussed his strengths and weaknesses in more detail. Jackson utilized a current trusted relationship to get feedback on his abilities, which I recommend for all mentees. Based on this feedback, as well as introspection on his accomplishments, we concluded that Jackson’s primary strengths are analytical/Insightful, work ethic, consistency and his weaknesses are work/life balance, lack of sensitivity, and overconfidence (at times). After discussing these in more detail, we felt like his strengths would fit nicely with our perception and observation of investment bankers. We also discussed some tools for overcoming his weaknesses, which were inserted into his mission statement as a mechanism for improvement, clarity and focus. 

The obvious next step to learning more about investment banking—we believed—was to meet with “real” investment bankers.  Thankfully, due to my current role at a commercial bank, I interact with many investment bankers on a regular basis. I have discovered that investment bankers, by their very nature, are gifted at building relationships...so leveraging these current relationships made sense, I surmised. Jackson and I discussed these relationships and determined that we would begin our meetings with two professionals: the first currently works at Goldman Sachs and the other began his career with Goldman Sachs but is now managing an investment fund. However, we discussed several more investment bankers we would meet with subsequent to our initial meetings, such as KBW, Piper Sandler, Infinity Capital Partners, Commerce Street, DA Davidson, JP Morgan, and others.

We then discussed questions we would ask each of these professionals, such as: how to obtain an internship, is it worthwhile to attend grad school or law school, advice on the recruiting process, how to make an introduction from a non-target school, what it takes to succeed as an investment banker, what is a desired GPA, advice for interviewing, and more. Ideally, we would have more questions than time allowed with each person. 

I concluded the meeting by committing to set up the meetings with each of the professionals previously mentioned. I want to finish this post by sharing a comment that Jackson passed along to me—as the mentor—that I believe will be motivating to any mentors reading this blog. Jackson stated that, “this process has been a huge help so far. It’s so refreshing to get advice from someone with experience rather than someone who read an article online about resume creation.” I share that to encourage our mentors to continue meeting with young professionals. Your live interaction is valuable, and your experiences are worth sharing with the next generation. 

Stay tuned to hear about our first meetings with investment bankers....

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This post is the second in a two part series: read last week's post here.

by Kevin

Our second tale comes from Ian Morris. I met Ian several years ago while he was still a college student at Oklahoma Christian University. Consequently, it has been particularly satisfying to see his career develop to where it is now. However, it wasn’t always smooth sailing for Ian. As careers often do, his journey demanded difficult decisions, as you can read below...

by Ian Morris

I had been working in Public Accounting for just over five years and was starting to get restless in my job and was reimagining where I wanted my career to head. This was the first time I truly felt like I did not know what the next step in my career would be. There was one feeling I felt every time that I thought of making a real change: FEAR. Fear, as I would come to learn a little later, was the one major hurdle to me taking action to seek and ultimately find an incredible opportunity.

After five years, I left one month prior to being promoted to manager. It all began to unravel in the summer of 2018. At that time I was working as a Tax Senior at Ernst &Young in Dallas, TX and was enjoying almost every aspect of it. I was performing my job at a high level, got to work with incredible colleagues and clients each day, and was just notified of a promotion to Manager later that fall. Sounds like a dream, right? Ever since I graduated college and got my CPA license five years prior this had been my goal and I truly loved it, most of the time. I began to reconsider after a conversation I had with a guy at church that was several years older than I, and had a very similar career as mine up to this point. The difference between him and I was that he decided to leave BEFORE making manager for, what I considered was, the dream exit opportunity.

This began me on the path of wondering if I, too, could find this elusive opportunity early on. What made the choice difficult was that again, I was overall very happy where I was at and had a stable and well defined career path for at least the next 7-10 years. My only hesitation with continuing in Public Accounting long term was the constant late hours and ever increasing administrative responsibilities as you progress. At the time my wife and I were expecting our first child, so those long hours at the office weighed especially heavy on my mind. After much thought and time, I made the decision to seek out a recruiter. I ended up working with three separate recruiters and moving on from the first two before gaining some traction with the third one. Through that process I learned that my biggest obstacle to finding my dream opportunity was my fear of the unknown and endless what ifs.    

Once I learned what was holding me back I began to search for how to overcome this fear. At the time I had just purchased a book by Tim Ferris called Tools of Titans. In searching through this book for some inspiration I came across a section called Fear Setting, and it turned out to be just what I needed. It is a simple exercise of defining your fears pertaining to a specific decision you are struggling with and weighting the probability of that fear actually happening, then coming up with a solution to mitigate it. Through that exercise it became clear that I was stuck on what if I change jobs and end up unhappy, thus wasting time when I could have been progressing in Public Accounting. This fear was holding me back from exploring what possible opportunities were out there.

After doing this exercise a couple more times, meeting with my mentors (including Kevin), and talking it over with my wife, I decided to move forward with the job hunt and find that opportunity. At EY I was working primarily with real estate and private equity clients. I found the mix of real estate and private equity very interesting and knew this mix could be were very profitable depending on the company. Thankfully in Dallas, TX there are a number of these types of firms that my recruiter began seeking out for me.

I also wanted make a trajectory change in my career and get away from just focusing on taxes as that was not what I desired to do indefinitely. This proved to be difficult because not many companies wanted to take on, and pay, someone with five years’ experience in tax just to give them a fresh start. At this point I started to see the writing on the wall and had three viable options. I either make a change, stay in Public Accounting, or switch over to industry at some point as a tax manager or director. The latter two of these are great careers and pay well, but ultimately were not what I truly desired for myself long term. I hoped to one day be the CFO at a private equity fund, and making this trajectory change early on seemed like a good next step in that direction.

With a narrower list of companies I was willing to look at and also wanting to shift away from tax we began the search. At the time I was just starting with my third and final recruiter and was fortunate in that they had a couple companies in mind, one large investment company with public funds and one smaller private company that focused solely on real estate. I ended up interviewing at each of these companies plus one more and got an offer with the third one I interviewed at. Fortunately that ended up being my favorite of the three and I was ecstatic to have gotten an offer there. In the end after a little bit of negotiation we were able to come to an agreement and I happily made the move.

After almost two years at the new company I can say that this has been a great move and I have been truly fortunate in that I get to do what I enjoy each day. We are presented with new and exciting challenges daily and I feel I am continually learning new things. To wrap it all up, I would strongly encourage anyone who reads the blog to let the things you will learn through Kevin and Adam’s mentorship guide you. I would also encourage anyone who is struggling to make a difficult choice or determine which path to take, to do the Fear Setting exercise I mentioned. Both will change the way you confront your fears and lay out the path to making more sound decisions.

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by Kevin

Action Daily routine! Nothing gets me more energized than movement. Perhaps that is counterintuitive. Maybe you believe movement removes the energy? However, in my experience: motion creates emotion. So, if you want to get excited: get moving! This post is your formal and official call to action! If you need additional motivation, I have always found Shia Labeouf to be helpful.

Let’s rehash a little. Hopefully you can see the flow of these posts as it relates to the direction of your development: 1) You know yourself--you’re ready to grow yourself 2) You know your mission, 3) You have properly set goals that create boundaries for balance and actionable steps for development, and now... 4) Action: your daily routine. Steps 1-3 are useless without step 4. John Maxwell says, “you can’t achieve everything in a day, the secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” 

Let me be even more clear: you won’t accomplish anything unless you are incorporating it into your daily routine. It’s shocking to me that so few people have a plan for each day. Not only that, there is no plan for their week, month, or even year! Perhaps there is a general 5-10 year plan, but no daily commitment to achieve it.  

When you plan your day, think about your goals. How are you moving on your goals each day? I realize some goals don’t require daily action, but most do. Specifically goals in the areas of health, spiritual, and relationships. I agree that it is possible that certain financial and career goals don’t require daily focus and action, but some do. Challenge all of your goals to see if there is something you could be doing each day to make progress. 

When I meet with a mentee, we develop an action plan (or daily routine). We start with the time you wake up and end with the time you go to sleep. I have found that my morning routine is most important to my development as I have more control over that period of time in my day. Therefore, I cover my spiritual goals before anything else. After that I focus on career, relationships, and health goals. My evening is set aside for relationship goals primarily, but I can also cover some career goals (reading), as well. 

Also, this might surprise you, but don’t forget to schedule leisure time. I’m not talking about 6 hours of each evening with mindless netflix binging, but 1 - 2 hours is more reasonable. We all need to schedule a break or something we can look forward to in our day, don’t we?

by Adam

What an incredibly well-timed topic!  

To preserve the timelessness of this post, and to help add context for those who are reading these hallowed words hundreds of years after I type them, let me explain.

I’m writing this in fall of 2020 from my home.  That wouldn’t be so unusual, except for the fact that this desk I’m sitting at now doubles as my work desk.  I’ve been working remotely since early 2020, due to this new thing called “COVID-19.”  

Again, for the people reading this 100+ years from now:  1) I am as humbled as I am deceased by the fact this blog has had such sustained popularity, and 2) I’ll let you read the COVID wikipedia page for yourself to learn more about COVID-19.  But, suffice it to say that, for me, among other things, it turned a fairly stable daily routine completely on its head!

What a weird, accidental daily routine experiment I’ve been living through.  And, I’ve got to be honest, there have been positive (and negative) surprises.

The tumult in my day-to-day routine has helped reinforce the importance of having a routine in the first place.  Without much planning (or foresight), my sudden work-from-home job meant an extra hour or so a day from a non-existent commute, and slightly less burdensome morning ritual.  It also meant much blurrier lines between “home time” and “work time.”  

Now, at first, I didn’t do a great job of being intentional about how I’d handle this new dynamic.  I simultaneously reveled in the non-commuting time, but also let my daily routine slip into hapless anarchy.  After a few months, I started to realize how this was impacting my goals.  To prevent this post from taking on the length (and character) of a manifesto, I’ll just share one example.

The YMCA opens at 5AM on weekdays.  Now, I didn’t always get there at 5AM, but I was there at that time more often than not.  And, importantly, it was obvious and apparent to me when I wasn’t there at that time (or close to it).

But then, all the YMCAs around me shut down for several weeks.  So many good things flowed from this one habit of starting each day with good exercise.  Now, that part of my daily routine was gone.  I started waking up a little later, and going to sleep a little later.  And, while I have exercise equipment at home (treadmill, bike, free weights, etc.), I also have other things at home (dishes, that pantry I want to clean out, my television, a dog that likes to fetch….you get the picture).  With all of that taken together, I was getting much less consistent exercise than I used to.

Now, this problem is easy (conceptually) to fix. But, as Kevin alluded to, there is no magic wand to wave.  For my specific situation, I replaced my gym routine with an outdoor running schedule.  But, more broadly, the fix is intentionality: breaking down my goals into the set of daily actions I must make to achieve them.  

That’s the power of a daily routine.  It’s right there in the name: it becomes routine.  Taking those small steps toward your goals happens on autopilot.  There is no latent stress out there: “you know, one of these days, I’m really going to have to do 2 months of cross fit and become the next Hulk Hogan to meet my exercise goals.”

Yet, I can say all that, and still not live it perfectly 100% of the time.  As I mentioned, I was a 5AM gym person; but, one external shock to my routine put me on an unproductive course for several weeks!  So, take this as an invitation to ask yourself that same question right now: is your daily routine, as it stands right now, aligned with your goals?

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by Kevin

Landing that first job out of school can be very exciting. It can also be challenging. Yet, what may be even more challenging is the decision that comes next: how long do you continue at your initial place of employment, and when do you move to the next opportunity?  If you’ve been performing at a high level while feeling (generally) satisfied and content, that decision can become even more fraught. 

In the world of public accounting, the promotion to “manager” is traditionally viewed as a significant and desirable milestone, something that signifies your career is on the right track. Although timelines can vary, it typically takes approximately 5 years to accomplish this feat.  Although beneficial, is it essential to hang on until the five year manager promotion timeline to jumpstart a successful career?

Over the next two weeks you can read from two guest bloggers who have faced this difficult decision to remain until manager, yet arrived at two different—yet equally valid—conclusions. 

Our first “tale” comes from Shelby Stone. Shelby graduated from the University of Oklahoma in 2014. I met Shelby a few years ago as she was grappling with this decision to continue her public accounting career with KPMG and, accordingly, set an aspiring goal to become a manager. I believe you will find her decision making process interesting and useful, particularly if you or someone you are mentoring is dealing with a similar dilemma to stay or go…

by Shelby Stone

When asked why I set out to be an audit manager, my knee jerk response is, “isn’t that what I was supposed to do?” As I reflect back, all the cliché reasons on why “staying until Manager” is a great career move come flooding back. “You will accelerate your career.” “You will be exposed to so many different processes and clients resulting in a well-rounded set of skills.” “You will manage faster.” “The learning curve is steep with the knowledge gained being invaluable.” The irony is all those reasons, cliché or not, contribute to why I am so glad I stayed until Manager. I firmly believe that everyone’s career path is unique to them. For example, going into industry immediately out of college or leaving public outside year 3 (1 year of senior associate) or year 6 (one year of manager) can still result in just as fulfilling of a career. However, I can acknowledge now that the cliché reasons to stay in public ring true.

For me, I didn’t exactly set out to be a Manager. I took the classic road of majoring in accounting, interning with Public during college, and accepting a full-time position before even graduating. I passed the CPA exam and earned my license after my first year as an associate. It was what all my friends were doing, and it is what my college promoted. I was enjoying the “work hard, play hard” mentality of Public Accounting and being surrounded by young professionals of similar backgrounds. I had many family friends associated with public accounting and I just thought this was what I was supposed to be doing. Typical of most public accountants, as I was wrapping up year three and completing my first year as a senior associate, I started contemplating the ever-present question of, “should I stay or should I go?” Like most, my first couple of years had been rough between the hours and challenging work. I also had lots of self-doubt that left me wondering if I was even capable of being a Manager. 

So, I decided to look around and see what other opportunities were out there. I highly recommend this if you are ever feeling unhappy in your position because oftentimes you will find the grass is not always greener. Nevertheless, everything I considered just never really felt like the right fit. It was then when I decided I was going to give being a Manager a shot, and see if I could survive the next two years and learn as much as I had been promised. [Spoiler alert: I did.] Now don’t get me wrong, the next two years were not a walk in the park. I questioned my choice several times along the way, but each year, I kept finding myself surprised at the knowledge and skills I developed.

Honestly, while my accounting technical knowledge was expanding, I was most surprised at the skills I was sharpening related to management and communication. Now I can look back and say, the development of soft skills is really what has set my public experience apart. To some degree, you are responsible for managing your time with tight deadlines under stressful conditions, even as a first-year associate. You learn to communicate effectively and efficiently with your seniors and managers, have discussions with client contacts, and document that information within the workpapers. These skills are then continually developed as you progress through the firm and gain more responsibility with most in-charging engagements after only being removed from college for two years. All of these skills developed over this short time create strong performing individuals who have a great opportunity to continue at their firm, and quite a few opportunities to take those skills and apply them to new adventures.

After completing my first year as a Manager, I can look back and say that all the reasons to stay are valid. I even discovered reasons I didn’t consider before such as flexibility, plenty of PTO, extensive training resources, travel, high-quality culture, and unique opportunities, to name a few. Truthfully, I have no new profound ideas of why staying until Manager in public accounting is beneficial. I can acknowledge that the Manager path is not always the best path for every individual, and I am certainly not here to argue that it is. My statement and sentiments are only that if you choose it is the right path for you, then it is most definitely worth it.

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By Kevin

Now that you have unmasked your mission (or maybe that is just “in process”), it is now time to generate your goals. This is absolutely my favorite topic and one that is probably the most challenging to write about. I love the exchange between Alice and the cat in the book, “Alice in Wonderland”. As Alice is trying to determine which path to take, she comes upon the Cat. The crafty Cat and the addled Alice have the following exchange:

“Cat: Where are you going?

Alice: Which way should I go?

Cat: That depends on where you are going.

Alice: I don’t know

Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

This is a very unfortunate—yet common—dialogue (although maybe not exactly with a friendly feline) in our culture. It presents the problem of a lack of properly set goals and direction. Goals allow us to always be “knowing where we are ‘go-in’”. Goals give us an actual target to aim for. Without them, you are merely a weary wanderer...it doesn’t matter which path you choose or decision you make. 

There are so many good books on goals and goal-setting, it is decidedly difficult to discover anything new in this world of goal-setting. But, after careful filtering through my thoughts on goals, I do believe that I have something new to add: balance. 

Ahh, balance. Is there anything more important, yet difficult to obtain? When it comes to balance, there are so many questions that arise with so few answers: What is balance? Does it mean the same thing for you as it does for me? How do I obtain it? Did you obtain it? Can anyone obtain it? Why is it so elusive and why do we blame it on every job change? So...how can I help with this hopelessness? 

I believe that we can know that we are truly achieving a balance in our lives if we are progressively realizing goals within each of these areas: health, spiritual, relationship, career, and financial.  If you can define it, you can deliver it..with proper alignment! This is why it is so important to properly reflect on what you really want from all aspects of your life. What is your true heart's desire? That’s where you should intentionally say yes to spend your time...and learn to say no to anything else that is not aligned with your goals.  

So, what areas of our lives should be considered for proper balance? I have carefully considered these most important areas of life and have narrowed it down to the aforementioned list. Through my incessant reading and conversations, I have constantly challenged whether these five areas truly capture the most important areas of life, and I have consistently come back to the same answer: yes, they do. Hopefully, you can take some comfort in that.

Now, in case you haven't read all of those goal setting books,  let’s talk a little more about the benefits of goal setting, as I believe there are several:

  1. Motivation - goals are the starting blocks of motivation. They give us a reason to get going.
  2. Independence - goals help us take charge of our own lives. Instead of following the crowd or wandering through life (does Alice come to mind?), we choose our own path, that one that leads to the fulfillment of our ambitions. 
  3. Direction - goals give us a destination. We’re far more likely to get someplace when we know where we’re going.
  4. Meaning - goals give us a sense of purpose. Life has more meaning when we’re clear on what we want. Instead of merely existing from one day to the next, our goals give us reasons to start really living.
  5. Enjoyment - goals are the antidote to the most dreaded social disease: boredom.  How can you be bored when you’ve got exciting things to accomplish?
  6. Fulfillment - goals, more than anything else, help us reach our potential. Setting goals helps us see what’s possible. Each successful step toward attaining them builds confidence.

So, goals will help you know and achieve balance and provide an abundance of benefits. The next question you should be asking yourself is, “How do i properly set these goals”? Try using the SMART technique: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.  Think short term and long term. Write your goals down. Review them regularly. 

Lastly, goals have to start with a desire. You have to want it! So, what do you really want? As Napoleon Hill said, “The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE”. 

Now, when the cat asks you where you are going, you can answer with certainty, clarity, and confidence. It just might be more than he needs to know. 

Adam, how SMART are you??

by Adam

Oh dear… the bar just keeps getting higher and higher with this guy! First, he asks me about my purpose in life.  Now, he’s expecting me to be SMART?

I guess, upon reflection, that isn’t TOO unreasonable of a request.  But, if I’m being honest, there is one letter in that mnemonic that gives me the heebie-jeebies.  In principle, I aspire to be SMART.  But, often, I only achieve a resounding SMAT.  And, let's be honest: as a word, sound, acronym, and mnemonic, SMAT is much less appealing than SMART

Yes, my shortcomings in adherence to the SMART technique often stem from a shortage of realistic expectations.  It’s not that I sit around making outlandish goals all day: you’ve seen my mission statement, and it’s all meat and potatoes type stuff.  But, I think this proves Kevin’s point.  

If a lack of balance stems from a failure to achieve SMART goals, then the driving forces behind my goal-reaching failures are unrealistic expectations.  So often, it seems there are more “good” things to do than time in the day to do them.  The (easy?  lazy?  default?) approach to this conundrum would be to pay lip-service to certain goals, without taking the necessary steps to achieve them.  

For example: it’s entirely unsurprising and uncontroversial to say you want to be a supportive and committed spouse, but quite another to set aside the time and energy to unequivocally be that spouse.  It’s easy to devise a strategy to get in better physical shape, but quite another to still be hitting the treadmill 4 weeks into that plan.  Many a human-being has espoused their commitment to a goal, getting that sweet endorphin rush from the imagineering of future accomplishment, only to unsurprisingly find other priorities crowd out the path to that once-upon-a-time imagined destination.

True to form, I may just be projecting my own baggage on you (yes, YOU!).  But, I think this whole “realistic” expectations thing is much harder in practice than in theory.  It makes complete sense that your goals should be confined to what is achievable. It’s patently obvious that devoting time and energy to one thing inherently leaves less time for others.  But, in practice, it seems really hard to make trade offs.  It can be so much easier to pretend those tradeoffs don’t exist.

Maybe there are superhumans out there that are able to wave a magic wand and create more time and energy for themselves (Kevin?  Thoughts?).  I can assure you, I am not one of them.  So for me, balance is all about saying no to the right things.  Sometimes, that means saying no to “good” things (like professional opportunities).  Other times, that means saying no to “fun” things (like staying up late on a Sunday night).  Sometimes, it even means having the discipline to say no to easy things that get in the way of substantial things (like watching just...one...more... episode…).

Kevin raised the bar to a 5-letter word (SMART).  Am I just lowering it to a much less sophisticated 2-letter word? 

NO! Or at least, that’s not my intention! I do my best to only use NO in service of SMART goals.

But, let me level with you: I have not mastered the art of no, and I do recognize its shortcomings.  As humans, our lack of self-awareness often leads us to delude ourselves.  Once you hop on the NO train, you may find it shockingly easy to repurpose your “NO”’s to justify the path of least resistance, even (and maybe especially) when that is not the path toward achieving your goals.

I should probably stop typing before I do permanent damage here.  We’re still early in our mentoring journey; I’m worried I’ve just done the equivalent of handing a baseball bat to a drunk monkey.  Sure, you could use that tool carefully and with discretion, but does that sound like the most likely outcome?  It sure isn’t always the outcome for me.

Yes, I think I will end it  there, not least because after reflecting on my need to stop, I proceeded to compare you (yes, YOU!) to a drunk monkey.  Kevin?  Can you bail me out here?

by Kevin

Adam, put down the bat...and the drinks! You may not be acting SMART, but I think we can still continue this journey. As you indicated, saying NO may not be SMART, but it is definitely wise. It is also very difficult when so many options seem worthwhile to the journey. Deciphering between them takes diligence, honesty, and commitment. Thanks for making this all important point of saying NO!

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by Kevin 

Date August 12, 2020

Mentoring Meeting #1

I am hopeful that the following series of ongoing mentoring sessions will be valuable, not only to current students looking to launch within their chosen profession or young professionals  looking to make a leap forward in their career, but also to a mentor who is curious how they can be a reassuring resource to their mentee. 

In my belief, mentoring should capture all aspects of one’s journey: from spiritual to career and everything in between. However, these upcoming posts are contrary to this conviction—confused? So, let me explain...I thought it would be intriguing—and a little ambitious—to document one young person’s journey to accomplish a very specific career goal: to begin a career in investment banking. The intent of these posts is to allow the reader to experience how involved a mentor can be to help a mentee achieve a long term goal. 

This idea occurred to me after a recent meeting I had with a very ambitious college student: Jackson High. Upon our first meeting it was evident to me how driven, intelligent and personable Jackson is. Also, as I alluded to earlier, I was inspired to learn about Jackson’s very specific goal to begin a career in investment banking. Consequently, I will be documenting this journey as I ride alongside him—not knowing with any certainty where this ride ends!

First, a little more background on Jackson. Jackson grew up in Oklahoma City, OK and is currently a finance major at Oklahoma Christian University. Jackson graduated high school in 2018 and plans to graduate from college the fall of 2021, which means he will obtain his degree in three and a half years! In his primary and secondary education, Jackson was disciplined in the liberal arts, learning poetry, philosophy, and everything in between. Upon beginning college he majored in Electrical Engineering with the premonition that it would land him a stable, respectable job upon graduation. But, he soon realized that this would not lead to a life which fit his potential, nor one of fulfillment.

When Jackson first chose his major, he felt like wealth management would be the appropriate career to satisfy his career ambitions. However, during a restless evening searching for videos to watch on Amazon Prime, Jackson stumbled upon a documentary about Goldman Sachs. Six hours later he was sold not only on investment banking, but a dream to launch his career!

His excitement led him to LinkedIn to perform some research on Goldman Sachs’ employees. He desired to know more about “real” investment bankers: what do they do, and how did they get there?. Or more specifically, to answer the question: “what does Jackson need to do to get there?” He observed that, generally, their careers began as financial analysts—at least for the first couple of years. He also looked at the specific schools and advanced degrees they obtained prior to employment.  Jackson then read many online articles and a few books about investment banking to get a broader understanding of the industry. It was apparent to Jackson that his passion and strengths aligned nicely with what he was hearing and reading about investment bankers. 

Although Jackson’s first indoctrination in the investment banking world was inspired by Goldman Sachs, he understands that other investment banking firms could provide the career rewards he seeks. Jackson acknowledged that any national, regional, or boutique firms would be satisfying to his career cravings. 

I am excited to join Jackson on this journey and to document the strategy, action steps, and results along the way! Ideally, this will demonstrate to mentees how a mentor can assist with your career, and vice versa, how a mentor can be actively involved with the outcome of a mentee. Please remember, at this juncture, we do not know if Jackson will achieve his ultimate goal of investment banking, but we do know we will put in the proper amount of planning to put Jackson in the best position possible. Let the journey begin!

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by Kevin 

Deciding to obtain a graduate degree is a difficult decision, especially after you have started a successful and meaningful career right out of college. However, this is exactly the decision a young professional named Brian Davidoff had to make. 

I met Brian through a work relationship a few years ago. I will tell you that it has been extremely enjoyable to observe his steps toward career success. After graduating from Dartmouth, Brian began a career in finance with a reputable bank. However, as Brian will describe it, he felt something was missing...

Brian will discuss his reasons for transitioning to graduate school, as well as the uncertainty and the required determination along the way.  I hope that his journey will be motivating to anyone who is wondering if their current job is fulfilling their life purpose and if—perhaps—graduate school is the necessary step to capture the next phase of their career. Brian utilized his resources and grit to achieve success with graduate school, and I believe you can too.

Brian is currently an Associate in the Chicago office of Hines Interests, a global real estate investment, development and management firm with a presence in 225 cities across 25 countries.  Brian focuses on new developments and acquisitions of commercial real estate in the Midwest United States.  Prior to joining Hines, Brian completed his MBA at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, concentrating in Finance.  Prior to Booth, Brian was an Analyst then Associate within the investment bank at JPMorgan Chase in Chicago.  Brian graduated from Dartmouth College in 2014 with a major in Economics.

by Brian Davidoff

In February 2018, I was promoted to an Associate position at a bulge bracket investment bank in Chicago.  As a single 26-year-old, I was making enough money to not want for anything, and my working hours were reasonable enough that I could actually enjoy this relative wealth.  Just six months later, however, I abandoned that career and started the two-year, full-time MBA program at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.  So what happened?

The promotion to associate spurred self-reflection and more thoughtful consideration of what I wanted to achieve in and get out of my career. Around this time I started working with Kevin, who helped guide this reflection and planning.  My work in investment banking was well compensated, intellectually rigorous, and perceived to be a “good job” by my family and friends, but I was not happy on a day-to-day basis and could not see myself making a long-term career in the industry.  Once I came to this conclusion, it was time to make a change.  But how?

My family has always placed high importance on education, so graduate school had been on my radar.  Now, as I looked to make a career change, pursuing an MBA became the means to that end. With the education, network, and career resources of a top tier MBA program, I was confident that I could both identify a career that would excite me and be able to get my foot into the door of a new industry.  But first, I needed to gain admission into one of these programs, which required a stellar GMAT score, supportive letters of reference, compelling essays, a sharp interview, and meaningful work experience.

The summer of 2018 became dominated by applying to business school.  While my friends enjoyed the summer weather—boating on Lake Michigan or watching the Cubs at Wrigley—I was face down in my GMAT prep book.  Already long work weeks became longer as I would get up early to complete practice problems before heading into the office.  When test day came around, I was confident I would get the score I needed to get into a top school.  But then I didn’t.  The instantly-scored grade flashed on the computer screen, and my stomach sank.  The good news was that I could take the test again.  The bad news was that it meant three weeks of more studying and ever-higher pressure to do well the second time around.  Fortunately, I did. 

Still, a strong GMAT score was no guarantee of admission.  Plenty of deserving candidates would achieve the same.  So, I applied to a handful of schools, including Tuck Business School at my undergraduate alma mater. As an alum of the college and given my strong application, I thought I was a shoe-in.  Once again, I was mistaken.  It was bad enough to be rejected, but worse because it was the first school I heard back from, causing me to seriously stress whether I would get in elsewhere. 

Having worked in Chicago for the prior four years, my preference was to stay in the city, and Booth was my top choice for where to go.  The day before Booth officially released admissions decisions, I received a call on my cellphone while I was at work from an unknown 312 number.  I stepped away from my desk and answered.  On the other end was an admissions officer from Booth.  As soon as she spoke the word “congratulations”, I was euphoric.  Six months of soul searching, sacrifice, determination, and hard work had paid off.  I was extended a spot in Booth’s Class of 2020.