By Kevin
There is no better way to create opportunities for yourself than growing--and developing--your network! My friend Jacob Cooper (currently a partner at Ernst & Young) and I continually joke about a book I read several years ago that has greatly influenced my thinking on networking…”Never Eat Alone”. Jacob takes the position that you don’t actually need to read the book to understand the value....just read the title! Although I will never admit it to his face, he is exactly right! The title says it all.
I learned the value of networking (and not eating alone) directly when I received a voicemail from a recruiter in 2013 to interview for the CFO position at BancFirst, where I am currently employed. I was aware of the opening (it was a public bank and I was a bank auditor, so of course i knew of the open position!), but I was 33 at the time and assumed they had dialed the wrong number. I hesitantly returned the phone call to let the recruiter know who he really called, but to my pleasure, I was, in fact, the candidate worth calling. I didn’t fully comprehend how I came to be included on the call list until a couple years later.
You see, over the prior several years (which was about five years into my career at EY...and following my reading of “Never Eat Alone”), I began reaching out to bank executives (primarily CFO’s) and bank providers (auditors, examiners, etc), hoping to build business at EY (see post on reputation). One of these lunches was with a couple of partners at BKD, a public accounting firm. BKD has a large banking practice (in fact, they audit BancFirst), so I was hoping to gather some techniques to build banking clients. That conversation went well, but i really didn’t know where it would lead...until later. As I later learned, BancFirst was struggling to find the right candidate, so they contacted BKD looking for applicants to fill their CFO position. BKD must have also thought our conversation went well, because they recommended that BancFirst contact me. After a few successful interviews with the management team at BancFirst, they offered me a job! After 7 years, I am still working for BancFirst. Glad I wasn’t eating alone that day I met with BKD!
There are several techniques to networking, but I will list a few that have been most beneficial to me.
- Be strategic: plan the prospects you want to meet with. How will they add value to your goals (remember those goals we discussed earlier?). Try to schedule your lunches out a month or two in advance. You will find that the calendars of the executives you want to meet with open up after a month or two down the road. If you go to a conference, get a list of attendees and identify beforehand who you will introduce yourself to during the coffee breaks.
- Provide a commonality: I have always found it is helpful to identify something you might have in common in the initial contact. Perhaps it is a friend, church, university, location...just find something you have in common. It really helps separate you from all of the other requests for meetings.
- Approach it as a learning opportunity: approach every meeting as an opportunity to learn something new and grow yourself. Don’t think of meetings as sales calls, but relationship building. There is so much less pressure and intimidation if you think of it that way. I always found it helpful, especially as a young auditor, to not worry about a specific outcome, but as an opportunity to learn.
- Ask questions: have a list of questions ready to ask, which might take a little homework. Write them down, if necessary (I still do this). I like to think of meetings as an opportunity to learn about their life and successes. I have never talked with anyone who didn’t mind talking about themselves, although sometimes it takes a little warming up.
- Be persistent: Executives are busy, there is no doubt about that. Just because you don’t get a quick response, doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. They just need a follow up...and then again, and again...you get the idea.
Your next opportunity is waiting for you, you just need to take the initiative to set up the meeting!
As you will read in Adam’s post, not everyone has the same take on networking as I do, which is okay. I think it is worthwhile to hear (or read in this case) more than one view. Adam, how do you feel about networking?
By Adam
As I write this, I’m a little worried what Kevin is going to think. That’s because...I used to have a very contrarian opinion on “networking.” In college, there was nothing that could more reliably solicit an eye-roll from me than a fellow student talking about “networking opportunities.”
There were a few reasons I had this view. First, I (somewhat naively?) felt that it was a perversion of the natural order of things to seek success based on something other than my special list of things I thought to be important: talent, work ethic, ability to work collaboratively, and ultimately the value you’re able to produce. But, second, those earliest exposures to “networking” felt like a grotesquely superficial, nakedly transaction affair. To me, it felt like a bunch of blowhards gathering together in a room to see how much value they could extract from one another via association.
Now, because I’m going for broke here, I’ll share what I thought was a very shrewd turn-of-phrase you could have heard me saying circa senior year in college: “Networking is like making friends for sociopaths.”
WOW. So, you’re probably thinking, this guy is obviously not going to have anything productive to say on the topic. But, let me see if I can successfully backpedal from the precipice (if I haven’t already fallen over).
Fast forward several years, and I now appreciate and understand the value of networking. And, maybe this is because I’m stubborn, but I don’t think I was entirely wrong back in college. As I’ve progressed in my professional life, I’ve come to realize that my initial views of networking weren’t views of the “real deal.” My wholesale condemnation of the idea based on these first impressions was like going to the state fair and deciding that Disney World is lame. It’s just…well... not the same thing.
In reality, networking is least valuable (and, in my opinion, hardly even qualifies as networking) when it's purely transactional. Networking is not about attending a particular event, although attending events can be valuable. It’s not about something you can measure, score, or readily quantity, but that doesn't make it any less “real.” It’s about taking a genuine interest in other people, paying it forward, and finding “win-win” situations wherever you can. It’s about weaving these activities into your daily life, and into your interactions with other human beings. It’s about internalizing these attitudes to the point where the line between “networking,” and living, is blurred to the point of invisibility.
I discovered this because… well… I (GASP) started networking myself! It was an honest mistake: I promise! At first I didn’t realize what I was doing. I was just asking for advice when I thought I needed it, taking an interest in other people and their professional lives, and when possible, trying to help other people as much as I could. It was all very innocent. But, lo and behold, I began to develop what could only be accurately called: a network! Uh oh. Was I a sociopath now, too?
No (at least, I hope not). And ever since, I’ve really moderated my views on the topic.
It’s just that, networking really isn’t a transactional affair. It’s a natural part of life, like eating or exercising. But, like both of those things, they can be done with more or less intentionality, and can be carried out in more or less alignment with your goals.
I’ll go even further: it’s OK to be strategic in the relationships you cultivate. But, make it genuine! If you happen to meet someone with a shared career interest, or whose further acquaintance may help you achieve your goals… go for it! Find something you can both relate to, a common interest you share, or a common goal you can work toward.
Just, don’t… and, I mean it...please don’t… go shake their hand, extract their contact information with clinical precision, and start mentally quantifying the value you can attain from your newly expanded “network.” Firstly, because it’s obvious; to you, to them, to everyone. People can tell when you’re playing the short game. When, you’re trying to “cash in.” And, the most “valuable” contacts out in the world will be so used to this charade that they’ll spot it before you even say hello. But, secondly, and most importantly, there is a more profound reason not to conduct yourself this way. Because, as I said earlier, that really would make networking seem more like making friends for sociopaths.
With all that being said, take it from a converted skeptic: networking, done the right way, is an invaluable (and personally gratifying!) component of a good career, and a good life.